Sunday, February 5, 2012

One year on (Happy Anniversary to us)

Today, Adam and I celebrated our one year anniversary. Hoorah - we made it through the first year!

We had previously agreed that we would go away every anniversary, but already in our first year this didn't quite happen! We have a holiday booked next month for a friend's wedding, so instead of holidaying twice, we celebrated our anniversary by holidaying in our own city. Adam booked a surprise night away: we had a hotel room in the city and we went to Chianti, a beautiful Italian restaurant for dinner. We did everything we'd do on a weekend interstate - shopping, drinks at the pub, breakfast at a cafe, shopping today... we even walked to dinner rather than driving or getting a cab. It was lovely.

It's funny - in some ways it feels as though our wedding was just last week - yet in other ways I feel like I've been married for ages.

So one year on, what can I tell you?

  • I'm still getting used to the terms 'wife' and 'husband' and 'married'. I still giggle a little when I say 'my husband and I'. Every now and then we deliberately make each other laugh by saying things like "is that my wife arriving home?" or "oh is my husband cooking dinner?". We think it's hilarious and makes us sound old!
  • Surprisingly, I have adjusted to the change in surname. I don't think I ever really blogged about that dilemma, but I was really quite torn about it in the lead up to our wedding. I wont go into it here, as it probably deserves a blog post of it's own. But I was worried about it, I was scared, a little sad and felt like somehow it meant I was no longer as connected to my own family. It sounds irrational, but it was a big deal - and I'm sure other brides feel it. And as it turns out, I needn't have been. I have quite easily slipped into my new name quite naturally.
  • There's not much I would change about our wedding day. Yes, there are people that we haven't even seen since that day.. but I'd probably still invite them.  There are new decor trends that I love... but I'd probably still keep ours as it was. There are new suppliers and venues that I've discovered... but I'm content with our choices. All in all, our wedding was perfect for us at the time, it suited us to a tee - and because of that I don't think we'll ever look back on it and cringe. Not even when my dress becomes the equivalent of the puffy sleeve. (** as a side note, I think brides should bear this in mind when making their choices... you don't need to be classic, timeless, worry about things dating. Your wedding is one day - one snapshot of time - one point in your lives. Do it so it suits you at the time and there'll never be reason to wish it wasn't that way**).
  • It does feel different to be married. Whenever people ask "How's married life?" (and they ask this a lot actually!), my standard answer is "Exactly the same as before". After all, we had already lived together for years. But there is a shift of a kind. We feel a bit more grown up. And we feel like more of a team. If you'd asked me 18 months ago, if we were a team, I'd have told you that we were. But it's stronger now.  Maybe because we know we are stuck together...forever... mwahaha! But seriously, the legal bind has had an impact. We still argue ?(in fact, we've argue plenty), but we argue knowing that its just an argument and that we'll work it out. We don't question whether we'll stay together. Even the biggest arguments don't feel break-up worthy. And...there's more. There's no jealousy or insecurity. In fact, it's the opposite - it's security. I hope I don't sound like a married wanker... I sense that I might, because I know 18 months ago I would have thought that if I read this. I would think "i'm secure, i'm not jealous, we're a team". But I swear... something has shifted. Just saying! 
Anyway, this has turned into a little bit of a reflection. It probably is a good time for reflecting - on the wedding, on marriage, on our relationship.
But I really just came here to say.. YAY!

Good luck to anyone reading that is planning their wedding and marriage. I can honestly say that marriage has been great. So far. :-)

Now I'll leave you with some of our wedding snaps, because an anniversary is also a great time to flick back through the album!